**DEFINITELY** a guide to playing a guitar

THE  ULTIMATEly original, new and improved, revised, top ten tips to be the BEST guitar player EVER 2013!!

fretboards, theory, arpeggios, technique, this guide has nothing to do with any of this. fingering, slapping and pull-offs? not this time. 

this guide is all about channeling the prerequisite raw emotions required to become the best!! THE BEEST!!

  

INCREDIRIFF!!

1. Die.
Self explanatory but statistically if you're dead you're a better guitar player than if you're alive. FACT*.

*estimation

2. Be Mike Rutherford (or Listen to Genesis daily.)
Self explanatory but statistically if you are Mike Rutherford you're a better guitar player than if you're not Mike Rutherford. FACT. 

MIKE RU-THE-RFORD!!!!

3. Train your ears.

If you can train your ears to play better than your hands, why not? (do not answer, rhetorical question)

4. Write an album, record it, throw it away, smash it into the dirt and re-write it but instead of drums have guitar solos. Also, instead of production, mastering, touring and PR, have guitar solos.  (also skip point 5)

UNBERIFFABLE, FACT.!!!

5. solos are overrated. open chords are the future, the past, the present and also the future.

6. Give yourself AND your guitar cool nick names. To get this right you will also have to add a 'y' on to the end of your first name (or just the sound of a 'y', i.e - 'ie'. cheers.) and replace all the letters in your last name with 'Hopkins', 'Robinson' or 'Steiner' etc. Famous proponents include Jimmy Hendrix, Robbie Robertson, Ry Cooder and Donnie Steele (Slipknot)

unused e.gs include - Davy 'The Claw' Hopkins. Axe 'Leatherman' Robinson and for the guitar - 'Chaif'. 'Hot-Topic'. 'Baby Girl'. 'Grease Bolt'.  You get the idea. 'Sandstorm'.

7. Enjoy yourself!!! Never enjoy yourself!!!
playing guitar is not fun and/or games, its the real deal, serious shit, the shit.

DERIFFCIOUS!!!

8. Believe in yourself. with a lot of work and even more witchcraft you could possibly be great at this. don't listen to what anyone says, even if its complimentary, even this. don't fall foul of petty paranoia, keep believing. keep believing. (thats all one point.)

RERIFFULOUS!!!

9. Channel the spirit of Mike Rutherford and learn to play a double necked guitar. Remember: the more necks your guitar has DIRECTLY effects how good you are at playing guitar.

RIFFMAGEDON!