I found an article written a journalist wanting to remain anonymous who spent some time with us last year

imp

                                         ‘‘we're going into hibernation for a few weeks, to emerge a beautiful butterfly’’

Just think of all the greatly named bands that don’t make it, lets find the worst band with the best name. or, lets make it easier, lets find the best band with the worst name, imp. After I spend some time with these guys, I reaslised id just wasted half a week, but boy oh boy, what a night. When I left I left without my dignity, most of my money and some of my clothes but I certainly left a more thoughtful person;  wondering if I’m in the right profession.

imp have a song named ‘you don’t know what I know because I was the first to know and I havent told you yet’ and another entitled ‘how did you know?’

as i watch their gig they enter from stage right, led by Montezuma II, the battle lines are drawn and the first song begins. It becomes very clear very quickly that they’ve never listened to the third prince album in full, but despite this I carry on listening. It only took me 3 songs to realise I wasn’t watching imp play live. I was actually at a sold out Bruce Springsteen concert. When I finally got to the right venue I was there before the drummer. I decided to go back to watch the boss but he’d finished so I went back to watch imp but they’d finished too, maybe they never played, who cares.

For 20 minutes after the gig I spend nearly an hour with the band and the most profound impression I gathered was that given a choice between death and survival, they would eagerly chose death. as long as it wasn’t their own. and their survival counted on it. I asked them about their long term future, ‘‘Well this time last week we’d never met, then we were best friends, now we all hate each other, so we’d be happy to be alive in a week and take it from there.’’ and how long have you guys been a band then? I asked, ‘about 3 years.’ I realised I'd already given up before I asked this question.


Meet the Members.

''darktoof'' just before he realised he plays bass

Mike Darktoof; Bass
Apparently Mike was actually conceived during the sex scene from Top Gun, which was later cut. He demanded the scene to be included in the directors cut but Don Simpson ruled it out in his will. Kelly McGillis famously never actually gave birth to him.

The curious bass player, Mike, once missed a gig to visit Mike Love and also discover the secrets of levitation. Also, he was also once found asleep in the Raptor Nest on the set of Jurassic Park by Richard Attenborough. Later, Attenborough would take him under his wing and introduced him to the lute, but never to his brother. In return Mike showed him a film that wasn’t directed by John Woo.

this is the only known picture of aiden. courtesy of Scotland Yard

Aiden Blymire; Drums
I caught up with Aiden on the phone before the gig, he was disconsolate and remorseful, he said he was in mourning because of a Prince song he’d just accidentally deleted from his itunes, he said he’d call me back. He didn’t. I later realised he knew what he was doing. I changed tact. I broke into to his apartment at dusk and arrogated his diary, but this only revealed a neurotic infatuation with Kelly McGillis, I was bitterly disappointed.
Before I saw aiden again that night I realised he owed me money, then I remembered I hadn’t even met him before.

Speak to any people and I spoke to 4, and you will be told that only the open seas are more dangerous than Aiden, and only one person actually believes this to be true, and even less people believe him, and most of these people are dead and two of them are in the band.

Rob ‘Riggs’ 'Riggins' 'earwig' Schofield
He has a twinkle in his eye, a hump on his thorax, a song in his heart, along with a mild case of dilated cardiomyopathy. imp, led by Itzamna, some kind of excessively pallid Mayan shaman, he’s sacrosanct and dreadful in unequal measure. He split the atom, he murdered Ghandi, he discovered Neptune and doesn’t like prince. A pioneer, scum.

OCTRON
Oxtron, the most important member of the group, is preoccupied in Bengal hunting for ranee treasure to help fund someone elses single. According to their manager; Oxtron was in hiding in Madras, on the run from three men from the Nepalese mafia, or so he’d just read on OCTRONs twitter account.